If you'd rather read, this is the book chapter on this topic.  The book is available as part of the self coaching package or in the membership area. ​​

Chapter 21-The Lover’s Embrace
 
     What’s the best way to get closer to my partner? How do you get to know someone? You have to spend time with them and learn about them. The first two years of a relationship are often heavy on deep conversation. You spend a lot of time having “firsts” and getting to know each other. It’s one of the things that makes that time so exciting.
 
     Usually after a time of getting to know each other, you start letting life happen.  You begin to think you know your partner. You tell yourself stories about them.  “Oh, she knows that I love her.” “He knows that I want him to compliment me.”  “He should know that by now.” “She won’t mind if I go to work and let her mother take care of the new baby.” There’s a word for all this: Assume. And you know what they say about that!
 
        Keeping the learning about each other alive in your relationship is one way to keep things interesting. All the things taught in this book are geared to help you learn more about yourself and your partner. Another game to help with this is the Open Ended Question Game. 
 
     This game builds emotional intimacy between you and your partner. The best way to play is a little odd maybe. It makes it a little difficult to play this one alone. If your partner is willing though, this can be a very healing exercise. What you do is have one person (the receiver or listener) sit at one end of a couch or loveseat. The sender or speaker then lies facing the receiver chest to chest. The speaker’s head will be on the receiver’s shoulder. Your arms will very naturally fall in an embrace. Some call this the Lover’s Embrace. 
 
     It’s difficult to be this physically intimate and be hurtful to each other. In this position, the receiver will ask an open ended question from the list provided or you can come up with your own. The sender will tell the receiver their answer in as much detail as they like. The receiver may ask clarifying questions, but remember that it’s the sender’s turn to talk. Listening to our partner conveys respect and interest.
 
     After the sender has shared, switch places with your partner and repeat the process in the opposite role. This is especially helpful when you have a partner who isn’t good about talking. 
 
     What if you or your partner doesn’t enjoy physical intimacy like this? Get over it. New things are uncomfortable. Unless you have a traumatic event in your past, you can handle this. If you do have a traumatic issue from the past, please get help for that. If not, then this program is about growing past discomfort. I used to be uncomfortable driving a car and riding a bike. I got over it.
 
     The recap:
   
     1.  Continuous learning in a relationship keeps it healthy.
 
     2.  Spending time intimately with your partner in a lover’s embrace can facilitate learning and emotional intimacy.
 
     Practice:
 
     Do the Open Ended Question Game with your partner every day. 
 
     Ask and answer one question each while in a lover’s embrace.
 
     If you get stuck, send me an email at allison@allisonvelez.com.  Members get direct access to me in the membership area.  Come to the website at  www.WinningYourRelationshipGame.com and look around.