A-A little bit at a time. Decreasing the hostility in a relationship often brings people to start working with me. It's no surprise that until it gets a little under control, hostility can sabotage any efforts to improve the intimacy between partners.
Zig Ziglar used to say, "If you're trying to climb out of a hole, Stop Digging!" Quit doing damage to your relationship by limiting your ongoing hostility. Oh, I know, this isn't easy, but you're a winner, right?
Stop telling everyone why you're angry with your partner. No one can really help you. You find more of what you're looking for, so when you focus on being pissed off, guess what you get more of?
Find some time to relax, sit down with a pen and paper. Write out a list of at least 25 things you appreciate about your partner. If that's too much of a challenge, write out a list of 50 things you used to appreciate about your partner!
Suddenly, you're focused on appreciating your partner. What do you think you get then? More chances to appreciate them!
If you stop the growth of hostility (which only you can do, has nothing to do with what your partner does or doesn't do), and edge that out with growing your appreciation, You're on your way to winning!
Give this easy strategy a try and let me know how it goes. I really want to help you if you get stuck, so reach out!
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Wishing you closeness,