Marianne Williamson, spiritual teacher, says all our behavior is either an expression of love or a cry for love. Take a moment to consider that.
The last argument you had with your partner-your behavior represented an expression of or a cry for love. Your partner’s behavior also was an expression of or cry for love. Will you pause for a moment and try to discern what was going on?
Story: The last fight I had with my husband was about shoveling goat droppings. Let me explain. There was an old building that had been used to house goats. This building was going to be used for training and it had to be cleaned out. He thought he’d have his team to help, but circumstances didn’t allow. He felt compelled to go forward with the clean up and I disagreed. It ended up getting a little heated until I realized it wasn’t my choice. My anger about the situation was actually an expression of love for him. I didn’t want him to do the job with minimal help. The way I actually expressed myself didn’t sound like love. It sounded a like anger.
How do you express or cry for love? Speaking a more honest message to your partner means that your message has a better chance of getting heard. (Isn’t being heard the whole purpose of communication?)
Recognizing good intentions behind your partner’s behavior is a sign you want to know them more. We all want to be loved, understood and known. When you show you see deeper into your partner’s motivation, they begin to trust you and feel they can be more vulnerable.
Sometimes don’t we assume the worst of our partner? What if you assumed the best? What if you assumed your partner is expressing or crying out for love? Assuming the best about your partner will improve your relationship and you’ll feel better about your partner too.
How would your relationship be different if you looked at your partner’s behavior with curiosity about how they were expressing or asking for love?
What if you actually shared your expression of or cry for love with your partner rather than hiding it with anger or some other emotion?
Tell me in the comments below.