 Taking care of your spirit is an important part of taking care of yourself. Self-care is a way to take care of your physical and mental health, but it's also important to pay attention to your spiritual needs.
Consider these ten tips if you want to take better care of yourself in a way that makes you feel strong spiritually. Tip 1: Don't ignore or hide your feelings. Instead, talk about them. Trying to keep your feelings inside instead of letting them out can cause a lot of pain on a spiritual level. Instead, let yourself be emotional when you're feeling it. Laugh, cry, talk about your problems, and let yourself really work through what you're feeling. It will take a lot of weight off your spirit. Tip 2: Find a way at the end of the day to "dump your brain." Whether you talk to a trusted friend, write in a journal, or walk yourself through your whole day, finding a way to "dump" all the things you've been thinking about is a great relief for your spirit. Rather than keeping all the feelings, experiences, and conversations you had during the day in your mind, letting them go lets your spirit rest. Tip 3: Do some light meditation to help you center yourself and get back on track. You don't need expensive classes or a fancy teacher to meditate. You can do it just about anywhere. Some simple exercises, like taking deep breaths and repeating a mantra, are great ways to meditate and bring your spirit back into balance. Tip 4: Make a playlist of funny videos to watch when you need a quick pick-me-up. The best medicine really is to laugh. Keep a playlist of videos that are sure to make you laugh on hand for those days when you need a good laugh the most. Take a break and do something fun to help you feel lighter. Tip 5: Tell yourself it's okay to be silly. If you're feeling especially down, give yourself a few minutes to be silly by having a mini dance party or making funny faces. Especially on a hard day, letting yourself really break away from your serious exterior can give you a little extra spiritual boost. Tip 6: Try not to be so serious about everything about yourself. In a world where you often feel like you have to act a certain way, give yourself permission to not take yourself so seriously. Let some of that exterior facade go. Instead of trying to impress others or forcing yourself into a role you don't like, just be yourself. It's a great way to make you feel better. Tip 7: Look up to your higher power, no matter what or who it is. Whether your higher power is a religion, your own sense of inner goodness, fate, or something else, look to it when you're feeling spiritually burdened. This will help you get your energy back on track and lighten your mood. Tip 8: Do things regularly that you really enjoy. Spend time doing what you enjoy. It's one of the best ways to keep your mind and spirit light, peaceful, and healthy. Make time for the things you enjoy doing, whether it's sports, painting, reading, playing with your dog, putting together jigsaw puzzles, or something else. This will give your spirit a boost. Tip No. 9: Spend some time outside. Getting back in touch with nature is a great way to help your spirit feel more at peace. Let your bare feet touch the grass, take deep breaths of fresh air, and enjoy the warm sun. All of these feelings bring you closer to nature and lift your spirits. Tip 10: Think often about your goals and dreams. Another great way to boost your spirit is to stay focused on your goals and dreams, especially by going back to them often to "check in" and see where you're going in life. By doing this, you'll be more likely to make changes to your plans as needed while still keeping your eye on the end goal.
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My husband is coming home. You may know that we’ve had a long distance relationship for many years. I’m very self sufficient. I like to figure things out and most of the time, I can. But, my husband is coming home. So things I normally would spend time on, I just put on a list for him. He can do it faster and he’s way more perfectionist than I am! So, it helps me to just put it on a list. While he’s doing “the list”, I’ll do other things, like edit a video or do laundry. I help him, he helps me, and we both do the things we do best. When we begin a relationship, we theoretically become more than the sum of our parts. We belong to someone. We develop a language that’s all our own. We have inside jokes that only we think are funny. We count on each other for things we might have to handle alone. The “couple bubble” increases our versatility, our range, our expertise. “We” becomes greater than “me”. My attention to some things becomes an opportunity for my husband and vice versa. This creates an environment where we can both explore things we couldn’t on our own. I’m a planner; he’s spontaneous. I’m organized and consistent; he thinks he’ll deal with it later (spoiler…he won’t). Not to mention learning from each other! As much as I enjoy my planning processes, he has taught me to ACT! I’ve taught him to slow down and read instructions. Our changing in these ways has made us more compatible and better rounded people.  In addition, happy relationships contribute to longer, happier lives, better mental health and financial stability. These are really practical reasons that being in relationships is good for us.
The greatest gift of relationship may be the self growth it pushes us toward. Because of our patterns of attraction, attachment and self management, our most significant relationships will bring attention to all our sharp edges. There are times when committed relationships feel limiting. The opposite is actually true! Relationships can open us up to more freedom, opportunities and growth. So often, we focus on what we lose as an individual while ignoring what we gain as a couple. Feeling Greater! Allison
Falling in love brings with it a major hormonal cascade that makes us obsess about our partner. This creates major attunement between us. This means I am acutely aware of how you’re feeling. This sadly doesn’t last. We get distracted by life and start to take our partner for granted a bit.
Self-fulfilling prophecies hurt a lot of relationships. If you think your partner will hurt you, you might do things that make it more likely that they will. But if you work from the idea that your partner loves you and wants the best for you, trust can grow in your marriage over time. Here are some things you can do to build trust with your partner. Recognize how you feel and take small steps toward being more open. Gain the courage to be more honest with your partner. Before talking about bigger things like kids' behavior or money, it's a good idea to start with small things like schedules or meals. Be honest with each other and talk about the important things in your relationship. Stop thinking bad thoughts. Let the first thought be, “I know you don’t want to hurt me.” Ask yourself: Is my lack of trust because of my partner's actions, my own insecurities, or both? Be aware of unresolved problems from past relationships that might be making you mistrustful now. Follow your gut and instincts. Trust what you think you know and pay attention to red flags. If you don't trust someone, be open and ask for reassurance. Assume that your partner wants to help you. If they let you down, it might just be because they aren't good at what they do. Sometimes people just make mistakes. Listen to what the other person says. And watch what they do. Think that there are people in the world who are honest. Have faith in your partner unless you have a strong reason to not trust them. By far, the biggest way trust is built is through the behavior of ‘turning towards’. We send a million little signals out every day which are ‘bids for connection’. If our partner responds positively, it shores up our trust. Anything other than that, it erodes it. And it’s like taking a bath, it doesn’t last! You must consistently be there for your partner. You can also get closer to your partner emotionally and build trust by asking them open-ended questions. If you only ask yes-or-no questions, you can't have a deep conversation with someone. In other words, take your time with your partner and make love to them with your words. If you want a relationship to last, you have to be able to trust each other. Building trust with a partner is mostly about the little things you do together that make you feel safe and make you really believe that your partner will be there for you when you need them. It's the key to a happy, long-lasting relationship. John and Julie Gottman say in their book, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, that if you break a trust agreement with your partner, there are ways to fix it. These steps include setting up a time to talk, naming the feelings you had because of the breach of trust without blame or criticism, listening to your partner without passing judgment, and each person telling their side of the story and talking about any feelings the incident brought up. Then both partners look at how they contributed to the incident and take responsibility, for each person to apologize and accept an apology, and for each person to come up with a plan to stop future breaches of trust. How are you doing at building trust? These behaviors can get you started if you feel your trust has been damaged in some way.
Big or small, problems can be solved. You can work on change yourself, or you can get a good therapist to help you figure things out. Taking a "wait and see" track can be a scary option.
If you’re going to go for it on your own, here are some tips:
High emotions indicate something deeper than the trash. We owe it to ourselves and our partner to get in touch with that. Coming in with the “what” sounds like a war cry to our partner. When things get tense, we all retreat to what feels safe. And we all feel safe in different ways. I may get angry, you may withdraw, and another person may become passive aggressive. They are all ways to deal with stress, but not necessarily to resolve any issues. These are behaviors you can learn to change. It might not be easy; you’ve spent a lifetime learning it this way! It will be worth it, though!
You’ll be winning in no time! |
Helping You
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