 A-God, I hope so! Have your parents ever annoyed you? Have you ever annoyed them? Yet you most probably love each other.
Loving someone doesn't mean you never feel other emotions towards them. In fact, loving someone often makes those emotions much more intense. Try a few things. Focus on yourself. How can you be more happy and fulfilled within yourself? Do that. Focus on the things you love and appreciate about your girlfriend. You can never count on another person changing, so see the positives much larger than the negatives. Evaluate whether you're spending too much time together. We all need a balance of together, others and personal time. Sometimes a relationship can feel exciting and obsessive at first, you set up these patterns of spending all your time together and it isn't sustainable. Think of the adage, Man cannot live by bread alone. Too much of only one thing, or person, isn't good for us. Embrace the paradox, Be separately together! Allison
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A-You have to decide to. In every situation there is something you appreciate or be grateful for. For instance, if it's raining, you can be mesmerized by the drops hitting the puddles or be grateful that the plants will have what they need to grow. Stress hijacks our attention and focuses us on survival. But most situations really aren't that important and we have to recognize that we don't have to allow our thoughts to run away from us, we can control them with some practice. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tells us events and feelings are separate entities. Our thoughts about events are what lead to our feelings about it. For example, it’s raining. I think, “This sucks! There go my plans for today!” Then I end up feeling disappointed and bad. I can choose to think different thoughts that lead to different feelings. For example, I can think, “This sucks, and I’m disappointed, but maybe I can find something interesting to do inside today. Yeah, I got that new puzzle! I’m going to work on that today!” I’ve got a whole new feeling coming out of the same situation just by altering my thoughts. This can take some practice, but I’ve written lots of other articles addressing how our thoughts, feelings and behaviors impact each other. If you feel that you’re just depressed and can’t succeed in changing your thoughts, find a therapist that practices Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Best of luck, Allison PS-Give me your email and I'll send you my 4 favorite relationship tips! Click HERE! |
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