#1 Do not discuss relationship issues with anyone of the opposite sex. This is history’s best and longest slippery slope. When we are vulnerable with another person it brings up a wellspring of emotions. Many, many affairs start with enjoying being heard by another person. It’s not safe, don’t do it. Family is ok if they meet these other criteria.
#2 Do talk to someone who has what you want. The person who’s been divorced twice and is not in a relationship can tell you how to do that! She doesn’t know how to resolve relationship issues. Get advice from someone who’s worked through things themselves or talk to a professional that can give you an objective perspective.
#3 Do talk to someone who wants to support your goals. Sometimes family and friends might not be fans of your partner for some reason. They’ll be happy to join the bitchin’ stew, which just increases your discontent. Is that what you want, more discontent?
#4 Do talk to the person in the mirror. Remember you can only change you, so if you’re spending your time lamenting about things out of your control, look to your own boundaries. Are you thrashing about over things that you want your partner to change? Ask, but don’t demand or get into a power struggle over it unless it really is a non-negotiable.
So before you start to engage with someone about your relationship issues, set yourself some rules and choose the right person for the job.