​Q-What causes people to regret their divorce during a midlife crisis?

This comes from a question that was submitted.  I've generalized it a little bit for this blog.  Ask me a question here.  

      A- Regret always comes from feeling that you didn’t make the best choice.  Most of us make decisions based on the information we have at the time.  Making a choice to get divorced may seem the very best option at the moment we make that choice.  We should recognize though sometimes we allow our emotions to drive decisions.  If you’ve looked at much of my information, then you know, emotions aren’t the best guides.

      When I’m emotional about a situation, I’m reacting based on those emotions which can be very irrational.    Try never to make a decision when you’re in the depth of emotion. 

     A midlife crisis can be a time of strong emotions and discontent which might drive someone to act on those feelings and later realize it was an emotional reaction and wish they had made a different choice.

      Living in regret makes you feel kind of frozen which leaves you stuck. If you regret your decision, you may be able to make it right, but there’s the possibility you won’t also.  If you can’t, then accept the situation, acknowledge that you made a mistake and take some learning from it.  If you can’t move on, contact a professional who can help guide you through it. 

      I divorced early in my life after 10 years of marriage and I wished it hadn’t happened. Maybe that is regret.  At the time, I couldn’t have continued, but I wish we’d been able to find the tools to make it work.  In my current marriage, my past experience has taught me to keep looking for the tools to connect.  So, can I really regret something that helped me grow so significantly?  I don’t think I can. 
       
​      You may have to find a way to move on and looking for something to appreciate about the situation is going to help you get there. 
       
    Hope that helps, 
    Allison