Usually that drive tells us that we are gaining much of our self worth by being a “good boy or girl”. This is not an objectionable goal, but when we allow our boundaries to be violated to serve others, we’re doing the whole world a disservice.
If you’re doing things for other people that make you feel resentful, reconsider how you could handle it. For instance, if you always wake your teenager up in the morning and it turns into an argument every day, you’re probably not feeling very thrilled about that. Stop doing it. Buy the kid a clock.
Make sure they know it’s their responsibility from now on. Let it go. Doesn’t that feel good?
If you can’t start there, start with something smaller. Anything that you are doing strictly for someone else, ask yourself, do I find joy in doing this? If the answer is no, then look for an alternative. Disappoint them. Let them know you won’t be doing that anymore. Let me know how it goes over in the forum.
This site is a collection of articles designed to help you and your partner build a more fulfilling relationship. If you don't find what you need, email me. If you want five of my favorite relationship tips, sign up here. There's also some more in depth resources here.
Hope that helps,