If you’re lucky enough to count your partner as your best friend, you’re in luck. Friendship can help you weather the hard times that every relationship has. Many couples who value their friendship seem to have an easier time handling their struggles. Often, these partners say their love, sexual pleasure, and commitment to each other have grown over time. So why does being friends as well as lovers make a relationship so much better? Relationships work best when both people back and affirm each other, like friends do! Ask yourself, Do you treat your partner as a friend? What are the rules of behavior you practice with your friends? Are they the same as the rules for your partner? When a friend lets you down, how do you handle it? Is it the same when your partner lets you down? Often, we can see our friends as individuals with free will to make their own choices, no matter what we think. It’s often trickier with our partners. We often want our partner to think as we think and decide as we decide, often spending more time in judgment with our partner than we would with a friend. It could be a useful exercise to draft up some rules of friendship. If your partner is willing, they can too! I started a list below. Feel free to swipe, change, or add! *We help each other reach our goals. *We are compassionately honest with each other. *We honor each other’s limitations and don’t push each other to overextend. *We look out for each other’s well being. *We talk to each other frequently and intimately. *We don’t make demands of each other. *When we have conflict, we make it a priority to understand and not be hurtful. What other rules of friendship would you add to this list? I’d love to hear your thoughts. In friendship, Allison
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