Self-Love is Important to Your Relationship

Do you sometimes feel that your partner doesn't meet your expectations? It can be very frustrating to have these sorts of emotions. But we know we cannot coerce another person into doing things or doing things the way we want them. If your partner isn’t meeting your expectations, that’s not the end of the relationship, unless this expectation is non-negotiable. 
Often, we expect others to give us what we don’t give ourselves. When we’re weak in an area, we often look to the person closest to us. When they let us down, it makes us feel unseen and insecure. 
Almost any problem you're having in a relationship is really a problem with learning to love yourself. It is necessary to love yourself. It's just as important as the air you breathe. If you have an area of weakness, you will expect it from your partner. You have to recognize this need and find ways to fill that area of lack. 
Many philosophers theorize that relationships are our most fertile learning ground. Frictions that arise in your relationship will help you see more clearly where these expectations are and then point you to how to ease them yourself. 
An example of this might be me getting angry with my partner because housework keeps me from going to the gym. I expect him to help me and facilitate going. If he doesn’t, does that mean I keep working and don't go to the gym? No. If it’s important to me, I need to put a pin in the housework and go to the gym. Can I ask for this need to be met? Of course! But my gym attendance is up to me, not him. 
Expectations not met lead us to feel insecure and unsafe. Fear makes us mean, so that will show in our interactions with our partner. This might make us feel better, but it’s not likely to get us what we want or need. 
All of a sudden, friction with your partner transforms into a measure of your self-love. Your feelings about yourself aren’t dependent on whether your partner is happy with you or not. You aren’t let down when your partner disappoints you. You see it as an area for your attention vs. a topic of war. 
Likewise, your partner’s complaints tell you something about their level of self-love. Is there a way to facilitate their searching for their own way to meet their needs? 
I love it when my partner agrees to meet a need. But if he doesn’t, getting resentful just adds to the problem. 
If you understand you don’t need someone else to meet your needs, it makes it more clear when you shouldn’t stay in a relationship. If we’re always trying to earn our partner’s admiration and approval, we’ll always take the blame for things that go wrong. 
No matter where you are in your relationship, first work on loving yourself better. Other problems often resolve themselves when you do!