Kissing is an act of intimacy that conveys many things. It might convey closeness and connection—an expression of emotional or physical intimacy.
Passionate kissing might express intense physical or sexual attraction between two people. But kissing may also be a source of comfort or reassurance. In times of difficulty or sadness, it's a nonverbal way to express love and encouragement.
Kissing can be a sign of reconciliation and forgiveness in some situations. After an argument or dispute, it might be a way to make amends.
Kissing someone on the cheek or briefly pecking them on the lips is a popular form of welcome and farewell in some cultures and families.
Kisses might be part of celebrations, spreading joy at marriages, birthdays, job promotions, etc. They might also just be joyful expressions of affection.
This act of “kissing” is very versatile in communicating a message. It really is all about the nonverbals, isn’t it? When it comes to your partner, you don't want just any kiss. It’s got to be special. Research tells us that a kiss that endures for at least six seconds is the one that increases connection with your partner.
A six-second kiss is just long enough to feel romantic but also, short enough to leave them wanting more.
Most couples I work with are assigned a daily six second kiss. I have them do a trial run in front of me in session while I count one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, etc. They get to experience how long six seconds really are!
Sometimes this feels uncomfortable, especially when our connection is a bit lacking. If it feels uncomfortable, let’s try to work through that. Repeated practice reduces the difficulty.
Use a future vision mindset to get there. How do you view your ideal relationship? Do you share lingering kisses with your partner? If so, what’s stopping you from implementing this now? Your future requires change!
As I mentioned, six second kisses are backed by research by Jon Gottman. Use the techniques that are proven to work!
Let me know how it goes!